


Doctor Who Christmas

by Shivver



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Christmas Music, Song Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-06
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-02-28 08:15:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 3,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2725289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shivver/pseuds/Shivver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Doctor Who Christmas song parodies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Christmas Special: "The Invasion Carol"

  
**"The Invasion Carol"**   
_(sung to the tune of "Good King Wenceslas")_   


* * *

Robot Santas’ big brass band  
Shoots at Rose and Mickey.  
Jackie’s new tree comes to life,  
Situation’s sticky.  
Doctor wakes and sonics it,  
Christmas tree’s no more,  
Tells them they are pilot fish  
And crashes to the floor.

Good ship Guinevere flies out,  
Finds a spaceship dock.  
Bug-eyed monsters trash-talk earth,  
Loudly yell, “We rock!”  
A-plus blood types climb the roof.  
Blake’s a pile of bones.  
Now the fate of humankind  
Rests on Harriet Jones.

Blue box makes a bleeping noise.  
“Bring that craft aboard!”  
Rose and Mick get captured now,  
While the Doctor snored.  
Rose commands them all to leave.  
Leader mocks her thinly.  
But he’s speaking English now.  
Doc says, “Did you miss me?”

Doctor takes control right now,  
Though he’s still not ginger.  
Lightning whip is useless now  
Though it tries to injure.  
Doctor slams the button down,  
Breaks the blood control,  
Challenge to the Sycorax,  
Swordfight takes its toll.

Leader knocks him on the ground,  
Lops off hand with sword.  
It grows back, is it witchcraft?  
He’s just a Time Lord.  
Doctor gets him on the ground,  
Gets him to surrender.  
Bloke attacks when back is turned,  
Satsuma is the ender.

Back on earth, the group arrives.  
Tylers celebrate!  
Minister tells guns to fire.  
Doctor sees too late.  
PM Jones destroys the ship.  
She still thinks she’s right.  
But she’s looking tired now,  
Her reign won’t last the night.

Doctor roots through clothing stands,  
Finds a coat and suit.  
Joins the Tylers for the feast.  
Pink crown looks so cute.  
Outside ash and spaceship parts  
Looks like snowing magic.  
Rose says she will stay with him.  
It will be fantastic.


	2. A Christmas Wedding

  
**A Christmas Wedding**   
_(sung to the tune of "Away in a Manger")_   


* * *

Away in the TARDIS  
A bride just appears.  
The Doctor is startled,  
says she can’t be here.  
Her parents and boyfriend  
Are starting their search.  
The Doctor and Donna  
Head back to the church.

The bride sees the blue box.  
She cannot believe.  
A robot cab santa  
Kidnaps her and leaves.  
A motorway rescue,  
The Doc tries to do:  
Then Donna jumps to him  
And upwards they flew.

Return to the party,  
But robots attack.  
The answer’s at Clements  
So they must go back.  
The lab’s in the basement,  
Way under the town.  
The bad guy’s a Racnoss,  
She finally beams down.

She’s drilled to the center  
Of the humans’ world.  
The Doctor asks why and  
Flees with the bride girl.  
They view the Earth forming  
From space dust and rocks.  
The Racnoss ship’s buried,  
They see from the box.

The spider queen needs a  
New key for her plans.  
She cuts a brand new one  
From poor traitor Lance.  
The Doctor returns to give  
Racnoss a choice.  
Refusing, now kill him,  
She says to her boys.

The Doctor has pockets  
That hold a control.  
The robots fall silent,  
The queen fails her goal.  
The bombs break the walls  
And the Thames floods the hole.  
Then Queen flees but Saxon  
Destroys her ship whole.

It’s Christmas! The Doc  
Covers Chiswick with snow.  
She asks him to dinner  
But he just says no.  
He asks her to travel but  
She stays at her home.  
She tells him he really  
Should not be alone.


	3. A Christmas Cruise

  
**A Christmas Cruise**   
_(sung to the tune of "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear")_   


* * *

The TARDIS crashes into a ship,  
The vast Titanic of old.  
The Doctor lands, steps from the door,   
Sees passengers decked in gold.  
The spaceship brought them to view the Earth  
From high on Christmas day.  
The Doctor changes to tux and tie,  
There’ll be no trouble today.

The ship is tended by robot host,  
And Astrid serves passengers drinks.  
There’s Morvin, Foon, with buff’lo wings,  
They don’t care what people think.  
The Doctor takes the maid to Earth,  
Enthralled by the brand new sky.  
They’re pulled back due to a power fail.  
But the Doctor wonders why.

Up on the bridge the captain lets  
The officers enjoy the night.  
Midshipman Frame stays by his side.  
Two officers up there is right.  
The captain drops the shields to let  
Some space rocks destroy the ship.  
The flaming craft will fall to Earth,  
A crash to end the trip.

Survivor’s group starts trav’ling up,  
Through halls and stairs that are blocked,  
To reach the bridge and save the ship.  
The next thing has left them shocked.  
The host were dressed in angel garb  
But they only wanted to maul.  
Poor Morvin fell, the conker flashed,  
And Foon then saved them all.

The Doctor’s safe with fair Astrid  
And Copper and Rickston Slade.  
The Doctor heads to the deck below,  
To find the game that’s been played.  
The cruise ship’s owner’s been going broke  
And crafted this insurance scam.  
Then Astrid grabs him and leaps to death  
And ends the psychopath’s sham.

The crippled ship is plummeting.  
The host fly the Doctor to Frame.  
The ship will land right on London town.  
The disaster spot’s always the same.  
The storm drive burns, he saves the ship,  
But the maiden is already gone.  
The Doctor opens the port to space  
So her spirit will always live on.


	4. What Doctor Is This?

  
**What Doctor is This?**   
_(sung to the tune of "Greensleeves")_   


* * *

What man is this who answers to   
The maiden calling for “Doctor”?  
He’s strong, he’s brave, he’s confident,  
But he doesn’t remember the others.  
John Smith will join him now,  
Companion with Rosita.  
Search for his missing past,  
Discover the Doctor’s future.

The reverend’s house is full of clues,  
Some infostamps are hidden.  
The Cybermen attack the Doc,  
But John defends him unbidden.  
Meanwhile, Miss Hartigan  
Attacks the mourners with Cybermen,  
Spared four to make them slaves  
To bring her poor London’s children.

The Doctor now returns to home.  
A stable filled with a dead man’s things.  
They’re Jackson Lake’s, a traveler,  
The Cybers’ wrath incurring.  
Doctor, your TARDIS flies  
On heated gas, its tethers tie.  
John sees your missing past.  
Now, do you want to know? 

Now, Jackson Lake, he came to town  
And met the Cybers planning.  
He shot them with the infostamp  
But his brain it also was spanning.  
Ten men, it showed to him,  
The hero that could help him win.  
Run from the painful past,  
And Jackson became the Doctor.

There’s more to it, because there is  
Too many trunks for just one man.  
He lost his wife in the fearsome fight,  
And from that mem’ry he ran.  
Elsewhere, Miss Hartigan  
Set children to their laborin’.  
Fooled pawn of the Cybermen,  
She’s now the Cyberking.

Oh, Jackson and the Doctor,  
What will you find in the children’s lair?  
A boy who runs to Jackson’s arms:  
He’s found his son so fair.  
“Go, go, protect your son.  
You’ve found him now, your work is done.  
Leave me to fight the King,  
You have something to live for.”

The Doctor flies the balloon on high  
To see Miss Hartigan’s glory.  
He offers her the chance to leave,  
To change the end of her story.  
“Here is what you’ve become,  
The sorrow, pain, what you have done.”  
She stops, at last repents,  
And he sends the wreck to the Void.

The Doctor shows the TARDIS to  
His friend, his mate that is Jackson.  
It’s all a treat, but where are they,  
The bright and shining companions?  
No, no, he’s all alone,  
His friends all call other places home.  
Go, go, and dine with Lake,  
In mem’ry of those who we’ve lost.


	5. A Christmas Carol

  
**A Christmas Carol**   
_(sung to the tune of "O Little Town of Bethlehem")_   


* * *

“Oh Kazran Sardick, help us now,  
Our spaceship plummets down.  
We need the cloud bank cleared away   
To safely land on ground.”  
“Now, see, I run this planet,  
And don’t care what you say.  
The cloud bank stands, the ship will crash.  
Now will you go away?”

The Doctor sees the miser stop  
From hitting the poor lad.  
The old man tries to stop himself  
From being just like dad.  
The Doctor travels backwards   
To find out what went wrong.  
And Sardick sees his hist’ry change,  
It was such all along.

The Doctor shows him flying fish,  
They have to sleep a shark.  
To get it back up to the clouds,  
They put it in an ark.  
They meet the pretty lady  
Who’s sleeping in the ice.  
They hitch a carriage to the shark  
And fly all o’er the skies.

On Christmas Eve, the Doc and boy,  
On every passing year,  
Take Abigail out from her box  
And show her Christmas cheer.  
Young Kazran’s deep in love now.  
The young girl tells the truth.  
Then Sardick cancels Christmas Eve,  
Because he’s outgrown youth.

Now in the present, Amy goes  
To show the ship’s distress.  
The ship’s crew sings to give them hope,  
But Sardick’s not impressed.  
See, Abigail was dying  
When she was put on ice.  
The Doctor taught him life’s not fair,  
His anger will suffice.

Oh Sardick, there’s behind you now  
Your own self from your past.  
The sight of him does melt your heart,  
You’ll save the ship at last.  
But the machine won’t listen,  
Your spirit’s changed too far.  
The only one who’ll clear the clouds  
Is Abigail, your star.

Now Kazran Sardick’s made the choice  
To waken his true love.  
She’ll sacrifice her very life  
To part the skies above.  
The spaceship lands in safety.  
The Doctor flies away.  
And Kazran and his Abigail,  
Together one more day.


	6. Assorted Short Carols

  
**O Come All Ye Daleks!**   
_(sung to the tune of "O Come All Ye Faithful")_   


* * *

O come, all ye daleks!  
Descend upon the planet!  
Round up the humans and  
Exter-er-minate!  
Conquer the world,  
Spread out through the universe!  
O fear, we shall destroy you!  
O fear, we shall destroy you!  
O fear, we shall destroy you!  
To vi-ictory!

O rise, Cult of Skaro!  
Follow Dalek Sec!  
You’re charged to think just like  
The enemy thinks.  
Fly through the Void,  
Furthering our glory!  
O Skaro’s children rise!  
O Skaro’s children rise!  
O Skaro’s children rise!  
We shall be supreme!

O come, kill the Doctor,  
Evilest of Time Lords!  
The ancient enemy,  
The Oncoming Storm!  
Bringer of Darkness,  
To him show no mercy!  
O come, we shall destroy him!  
O come, we shall destroy him!  
O come, we shall destroy him!  
Exter-erminate!

* * *

**This Christmas, Don't Blink**  
 _(sung to the tune of "Angels We Have Heard on High")_  


* * *

Angels we have seen on high  
Turn to stone and cannot move.  
Look away and they draw nigh.  
From the present, you’re removed.  
Dooooooon’t blink!  
The lonely assassins.  
Dooooooon’t blink!  
The lonely assassins.

Faster than you can believe.  
Timey-wimey stuff, they stalk.  
Movements that you can’t perceive.  
View them, they get quantum locked.  
Dooooooon’t blink!  
Fear the Weeping Angels.  
Dooooooon’t blink!  
Fear the Weeping Angels.

* * *

**Box of Blue**  
 _(sung to the tune of "Silent Night")_  


* * *

Box of blue,  
Deeply blue,  
Shines its light,  
Sees us through  
Threats and trials from evil’s might.  
Doctor guards us through darkest night,  
Bringing hope to us all,  
Bringing hope to us all.


	7. Reindeer No. 1

  
**Reindeer #1**   
_(sung to the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer")_   


* * *

Billy the First Doctor  
Came around in ‘63.  
We only got to meet him,  
Because of Verity.

Sydney, exec producer  
Didn’t want B.E.M.s.  
He made them rewrite Billy,  
Doctor’s a real gem.

Then the second episode,  
Daleks came to kill!  
Thals were going to run away,  
But the Doctor saved the day!

Then all the children loved him.  
So did the BBC!  
Doctor, the famous Time Lord,  
You’ll go down in history!


	8. Reindeer No. 2

**Reindeer #2**  
 _(sung to the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer")_  


* * *

Patrick the Second Doctor  
Had some giant shoes to fill.  
He wasn’t sure he’d fit in.  
Everybody loved old Bill.

He chose a new persona.  
He’d be different by far.  
He was the cosmic hobo,  
Playing music ‘mongst the stars.

Sometimes silly, sometimes mad,  
Always quick and keen,  
Did the things he knew were right,  
First response was never might.

He set the standard for the  
Doctors that would follow on.  
But the Time Lords damned him  
And soon number two was gone.


	9. Reindeer No. 3

  
**Reindeer #3**   
_(sung to the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer")_   


* * *

Jon the Third Doctor  
Found himself stuck on Earth.  
He couldn’t work the TARDIS  
Right after his rebirth.

He chose to stay with UNIT  
Working with the Brigadier.  
Sarah Jane also joined him,  
Who would soon become so dear.

The Time Lords let him fly around  
To do their dirty work.  
Fought the Master several times,  
Tried to stop his heinous crimes.

They finally fixed the TARDIS,  
And he left the Earth with glee!  
If any tech confounds you,  
Try reversed polarity!  



	10. Reindeer No. 4

**Reindeer #4**   
_(sung to the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer")_   


* * *

Tom the Fourth Doctor  
Wore a scarf that’s twelve feet long.  
He was the strangest Doctor  
That had ever come along.

He had some crazy bug eyes  
And a toothy manic grin.  
He traveled with a tin dog,  
a Time Lady and humans.

He was sent far back in time  
To stop the Daleks’ birth,  
He refused the time rewrite  
Knowing it just wasn’t right.

He was the longest runner,  
Being Doc for seven years.  
When he finally regenned,  
He left Britain all in tears.  



	11. Reindeer No. 5

**Reindeer #5**   
_(sung to the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer")_   


* * *

Peter the Fifth Doctor  
Was nothing like who came before.  
Tranquil and bright and sunny,  
Like the clothes he always wore.

His passion was for cricket  
Though he rarely got to play.  
He tried to get poor Tegan  
To Heathrow almost every day.

The thing that haunted him the most  
Was Adric’s sad demise.  
He cherished his companions  
And for them he’d sacrifice.

It was uniquely fitting  
Life ended on a noble note.  
He gave his life for Peri,  
Giving her the antidote.  



	12. Reindeer No. 6

**Reindeer #6**   
_(sung to the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer")_   


* * *

Colin the Sixth Doctor  
Had a mane of bushy hair,  
And a motley costume  
That made humans stop and stare.

Arrogant, brash, and stubborn,  
He often could his friends offend.  
He was the worst to Peri,  
She trusted him in the end.

The Time Lords brought him back to trial  
Because he interferes.  
The shady plot he tried to halt,  
Turned out it’s the Council’s fault.

Later, he traveled with Mel,  
And others like Evelyn.  
An attack from the Rani  
Regenerated him again.  



	13. Reindeer No. 7

**Reindeer #7**  
 _(sung to the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer")_  


* * *

Sylvester the Seventh Doctor  
Seemed to be a silly clown.  
But as he traveled onward  
His myst’ry would astound.

Ace was his long companion,  
Always carried Nitro-9.  
But under his guidance,  
Loyalty she’d define.

They arrive at Maiden’s Point  
And Fenric’s just released.  
The Doctor destroys Ace’s trust,  
Fenric’s scheme is blown to dust.

After all, Ace still loves him,  
That’s because she sees him true.  
Somewhere out there, there’s danger.  
We have got work to do.  



	14. Reindeer No. 8

**Reindeer #8**  
 _(sung to the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer")_  


* * *

Paul the Eighth Doctor  
Was reborn in the U. S. A.  
He shared the first on-screen kiss  
With Doctor Holloway.

He didn’t get much screen time  
Having only had one show,  
But he was the longest Doctor  
In the books and audio.

He would travel with C’rizz,  
Charley, Tamsin Drew.  
Gosh, his timeline’s so complex.  
He’s not the one that we expect.

He fled the growing Time War,  
Didn’t want to join the fight.  
Then shunned the name “the Doctor,”  
And he chose the warrior’s might.  



	15. Reindeer No. 9

**Reindeer #9**  
 _(sung to the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer")_  


* * *

Chris the Ninth Doctor  
Was very scarred by the war.  
He was rooted in the present.  
His past he wanted to ignore.

His best friend was Rose Tyler.  
His first word to her was “Run!”  
She would show him hope and promise.  
His closed heart would come undone.

Down ‘neath Utah’s desert sands,  
A Dalek fueled his rage.  
She saw the lonely Dalek’s plight  
And helped the two souls see the light.

The Vortex would kill Rose so he  
Freed the Bad Wolf energy.  
Rose was just so fantastic,  
And you know what? So was he.  



	16. The War Reindeer

**The War Reindeer**  
 _(sung to the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer")_  


* * *

John the War Doctor  
Was born out of dire need.  
The Time War had dragged on so long,  
It was time to intercede.

He spent his decades fighting  
On the front lines of war.  
When the second city’d fallen,  
He decided then, no more.

The Moment took him on to see  
The men he would become.  
They neutralized the two Kates’ threat,  
So many saved by his regret.

His future and his past selves joined him,  
To hide Gallifrey away.  
He reclaimed the title “Doctor”  
On that bright and shining day.  



	17. Reindeer No. 10

**Reindeer #10**  
 _(sung to the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer")_  


* * *

David the Tenth Doctor  
Started out his life with Rose,  
But then they lost each other  
When the walls between them closed.

He fought to check his power  
When he traveled all alone.  
He needed friends to help him  
Like Donna and Martha Jones.

He found the perfect traveling mate  
In DoctorDonna’s soul.  
The Time Lord mind would burn her through.  
He wiped her mind and lost her, too.

Gallifrey tried to come back,  
He sent them back to hell again.  
He died alone and crying.  
All he wanted was a friend.  



	18. The Metacrisis Reindeer

**The Metacrisis Reindeer**  
 _(sung to the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer")_  


* * *

David’s another Doctor,  
A regeneration from  
The hand the alien severed  
That Harkness kept in a drum.

It took a meta-crisis  
To make him reality.  
He and the DoctorDonna  
Fulfilled mad Caan’s prophecy.

Davros’ plan began to fail.  
Companions fled the fire.  
The Dalek empire still would bide.  
He chose to commit genocide.

The Doctor saw that he was  
Angry like he was before.  
He sent him off with Rose Tyler,  
Together forevermore.  



	19. Reindeer No. 11

**Reindeer #11**  
 _(sung to the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer")_  


* * *

Matt the Eleventh Doctor,  
The youngest of the Docs by far,  
He had a manic manner  
That people thought was so bizarre.

To Amy he was devoted  
And so she also was to he.  
He was realized from nothing  
Solely from her memory.

He died at Silencio  
Killed by River Song.  
River then became his wife.  
Yes, that’s the order of his life.

Foes would often disregard him  
Because he always played the fool,  
But he’s still our greatest hero.  
Always think: bowties are cool.  



	20. Reindeer No. 12

**Reindeer #12**  
 _(sung to the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer")_  


* * *

Peter the Twelfth Doctor  
Had a pretty shaky start.  
He had to question if he  
Was a good man at heart.

His chosen friend was Clara,  
A perfect match, you’d think.  
She couldn't choose between him  
And the teacher Danny Pink.

Disdainful, mocking, very rude,  
His insults sometimes bite.  
But though he often would disgust,  
He’s still the hero who we trust.

His story's still unfolding,  
As he looks for Gallifrey,  
Trav’ling in his police box,  
And we are going to go his way.  



End file.
